When I was about 12 years-old, my best friend Bob and I heard that it was possible to go watch the Utah Jazz practice. My friend’s mom dropped us off at Westminster College (where the Jazz used to practice). Long story short…we lasted 5 minutes before they told us the practice was closed to the public and showed us the door.

We then went outside and figured we would wait for the players to come out and see what autographs we could get. While we were out there, some creepy guy approached us with a folder full of player photos. He told us it was very difficult for a guy like him to get an autograph from John Stockton. He then handed me a photo of John Stockton and said if I could get him to sign this picture he would give me a picture of Jeff Hornacek to keep. What I should have done was poke Mr. Creepy in the face and tell him to take a hike, BUT I was just a timid 12 year-old that simply complied.

John Stockton finally came out of the practice freshly showered. I (again timidly) asked if he would sign the photo. I then received a very stern rebuke from my basketball idol that I should do nothing else with this autograph other than keep it on my bedroom wall. He signed it and left.

I then left the facility to find Mr. Creepy waiting for me in the parking lot. I shamefully handed him the signed picture of John Stockton.

So…John….listen. I was young and didn’t know better. Sorry I sold you down the river. When I finish my time machine (almost done), my first stop will be to go back and slap Mr. Creepy. I just want you to know, I lied to you and still don’t have your autograph. What are the chances of me getting a free book? What are the chances of that book being signed by you?