Pioneer Day is coming up, so I thought I would talk about Utah. It’s like Independence Day, take 2 (not the movie–the holiday). As a child I was never sad to see the fireworks burn out on the 4th because I knew they’d be back a few weeks later. There will be a parade on the 24th, and I don’t like parades, so I won’t be there.

Speaking of Utah–do you know what Utah needs? Utah needs an official caricature artist. That way I (if they choose me) can handle any caricature issues that arise in the state (believe me there are a lot). If there is a press conference, I’m there, pencil in hand. If there is a flag ceremony, I’m there, pencil in hand. If there is a parade I’m—–forget that. I’m still not going to a parade.

In order to campaign for such a position I thought I would draw Governor Gary Herbert since he would be the person to endow me with such a title. Call it pandering, but most politicians play the pandering game (ahem…like Governor Herbert’s predecessor). I am simply hoping Governor Herbert is in the mansion late one night Googling his name, like most politicians do. Maybe he will stumble across this post and think, “By golly, this man is right! We need a state caricature artist!” He’ll probably call me up, take me to lunch, and then handover a big golden key in front of flashing cameras.

It could happen.